S,  We have been friends for 11 years now.  Since the moment we became friends I felt like I have been chasing you down. I tried so hard to get you to include me.  When you failed to invite me to go out with your friends I forgave you and jumped at the first invitation I got.

You have always been flaky, kinda airheaded.  I attributed your failure to call me on your personality and the fact that you were a year older than me.  You were so genuinely nice at times and so sorry for your actions I continued to forgive you.

Then you got to college.  My senior year was lonely cause as soon as you were on your own I was out of your life.  Of course I forgave you, because you were busy with college – who was I to demand your time?

You partied, had boyfriends and always had friends you went out with.  I tried to get busy with my own life.  You kept coming back in my life for whatever reason.  When you suspected your boyfriend of cheating you wanted me to help you spy on him.  When you had someone to talk bad about you needed me to listen.  I always ran when you called, desperate to make you my best friend.  I liked you, I saw a fun girl that understood my life. You listened to my crap too. You helped me get through tough friendships. That is, when you were there. That is when you freaking answered your phone.

We’d go through months and months where you would not answer your phone. Not even after I left voicemail after voicemail. And this was when I was hormonal and pregnant. I thought you’d understand since I was there for you and your mood swings.

Nope.

Then you wanted to sell me stuff. You started being a consultant and bam! My phone kept ringing. You wanted to go out for drinks, get our kids together for playdates!  WOW!   I went with it, thinking you were turning around.

Ha!  That was such a joke.

I bought your products. I have stuff I don’t use because you needed to sell it.  Now that your business is successful do you come around?

Well yes, since I promised to host a home party for you. But I had to make a catch – can my best friend please host a party for me first? See I am starting to sell things too, and I am brand new at this. I need guidance and it would be nice for you to help me.

Sure, you agreed to host a party.  But you did a sucky job of it.  It isn’t like you don’t know how to have a successful home party!  You are a freaking consultant with 16 consultants UNDER you.  But who did you invite? 20 random people on facebook and your mom and grandma.

Thanks for nothing.

I asked for you to give me their names and phone numbers so I could do reminder calls. Any consultant KNOWS how important reminder calls are.  It is basic stuff.  You failed to answer your phone. You didn’t call me back.

Same crap you have pulled for the past 11 years!

I’m done with you.

I am so done with this poisonous friendship.  I need a friend that will talk to me when I need her, not just when she needs me.  I can’t keep going like this. Emotionally I get my hopes all up that you are going to change only to be bitterly reminded of your horrible habits.  You are selfish and rude and I am not doing this anymore.

Forget it.

I am not calling you anymore. I am not emailing you anymore. Even if you tell me in your sweet pathetic voice that you are sorry I am going to stand up for myself and say “You have done this so many times before. I can’t do this again.  I’ll only talk to you if I have the time and I am not going to help you with your business.”
See, I still care about you as a person. You aren’t evil and you don’t do this on purpose.  I know you care about me as a friend too, you just suck at being a friend, plain and simple. So I need to corral my feelings and not rely on you.  If you need me I will be here for you.  But I am not going to need you anymore, cause you suck and fulfilling what I ask.  Sorry, you are fired from that job.

And you know what? I bet you won’t really need me anymore.  I bet you will do just fine without me.  Just wait and see.

For the last time,
~A

Related posts:

1. Goodbye my toxic friend,
2. Dear Jenni
3. Alone together
4. Dear husband,
5. Drunk