1. I was NOT the only one that suffered because of my dad.
2. We all made choices that were not appropriate to the circumstances, at times.
3. God does exist and he has forgiven us.

If it were not for his existence, and the promise of an eternity free of heartache then NONE of this is worth it. You might as well fall over and die, because I can PROMISE that this will not be the only heartache that you or anyone else will suffer. Does it suck? Sure does. Does it seem incredibly unfair at times? Hell yeah!!

I asked time and time again why me? why us? My Pepaw answered with, “why not you or us?” What makes us special or different from anyone else that we are above heartache, loss, and strife? It is devastating, what you have gone through. My heart breaks for you and every other parent out there that has suffered the same loss. I promise you are not alone in your misery. Take solace in he fact that God loves your beautiful baby more than you know and in his arms is where she rests now. He is saving her in perfection for you. He loves you Eve and he loves your children and he is waiting for you all to be together in heaven. He understands how you feel and the questions you have. Any of you can call my beliefs silly or unfounded, if you like. I have faith because, quite frankly, life without it is too scary and sad. There is something beyond the heartache and stress on earth, just look up.

I could have understood some things, but seeing the bad people in life reap and the good people struggle, generally, this is the case, that is a retarded twist to the bible and gods word. So I do not believe. I do not believe in a fake god. Even if he existed, I would never love, appreciate or want to know a God like that.

Life is cruel, people put hope into god to sort things out, not realizing he isn’t even there, he is nothingness, so you put your hope into nothingness and what do you get out? Nothingness.

The only way the world will become a better place is when people realize the truth.

There is no God.

XOXO

There is good news!!! There is One who knows your pain.

“Surely He hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.”

Your Savior is crying with you at this very moment. He will never leave you, even when you feel abandoned. That is when He is closest. He loves you completely. He aches with you and feels your loneliness and pain.

If you have even the tiniest of hope that this is true, hold on to that belief. I promise you He is real. He does love you. He does know your pain. He is reaching out to you and wants to heal you. He will never abandon you and will ever stand by you no matter what. Believe in Him and you will feel loved.

Prayers are going up in your behalf.

I just want to say- as a girl who truly knows her Savior, Jesus Christ, who is God…he doesn’t take joy in your pain. He grieves, he knows how you feel, the bible says he’s
“been there, felt that”. As a bible believer I do know there are answers to your some of your questions. God does not send people to hell. We are all on our way there because we are born under the curse of sin. Sin is something that a holy God cannot look upon. That is why he sent his Son, Jesus who is God in the flesh, to live a perfect live and then die as our substitute. Thereby paying our sin debt.

Things happen in life for many reasons, many of which we will not know or understand. But that doesn’t mean that God wanted it to or that he caused it. I hope you will not give up on God, he wants to have a personal relationship with you. And your daughter and Shellie’s son are in heaven now because they were too young to make a decision about trusting Christ for themselves. But you must decide for yourself whether you will trust Christ or not. I hope you will.

I would be happy to talk with you if you have questions. My sister also lost an infant about 2001.

You ask some very difficult questions in this post, and if you’ll forgive my intrusion into your space, I’d like to offer the things that I believe as answers to these difficult questions for you to consider.

Let me first explain what my faith calls “agency.” I believe that agency – our freedom to choose – is a precious, God-given gift. A gift that He will not infringe upon, even when we cause ourselves or others pain. He will hold us responsible for our actions, good or bad, but He will not prevent us from making our own choices.

You are right. It’s a sick world, full of corruption, murder, and hate. But these things are not God’s fault, anymore than it’s my Mother’s fault that I did poorly in the driver’s ed class that I took in high school: that was my choice, not hers. It would be terribly unfair, except for the kindness of Jesus Christ, in not only suffering for our sins, but also in succoring us in our need. We learn in Matthew that rain falls on the just and the unjust – that is, good and bad things happen to everyone.

Sometimes we make choices that bring on the hard times. Sometimes, other people make the bad choices. Sometimes it’s just the mortal condition, the way it is in this life, that does it. It sounds to me like both your own loss, and the loss of Bryson’s mother, are both things in that last category: unfortunate things that happen to undeserving people. It is my firm belief that the Lord can turn even this sort of event into something that makes us stronger, better people, more like Him, and that He will wipe away tears from all our eyes if we will just let Him.

May I recommend this article, about the sources and purposes of trials and adversity in our lives?

I am praying for you this afternoon, and I sincerely hope that, at the very least, I have not increased your pain. May you find peace and healing in this very difficult circumstance. I know that the Lord is aware of you, and that He loves you, though I also understand how hard that is to believe sometimes.

I want you to know that I do know how you feel. I’ve been there, some days I still am there.

Nine years ago my baby boy was taken from me before he even had the chance to take a single breath. In the moments of waiting for the bad news I knew was coming from my doctor, I prayed so hard for him to be okay. But it wasn’t, he was gone and my prayers went unanswered.

For months I was angry, bitter, I hated God for allowing my son to die…I lost my faith in every way imaginable.

It so hard to let go of that anger I felt for something/someone that truly had no control over my son’s life. It wasn’t until the moment I let go of the blame that I found peace. There are days I still struggle, most every day. I just hold onto hope that some day my questions will be answered and I can hold my son, see his first smile and give him the love that he missed out on.

((HUGS))