Letters to Breathe » To the Deceased http://letterstobreathe.com Read and Submit Anonymous Letters to anyone, about anything. Fri, 27 Aug 2010 18:58:09 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Dear Grandma and Grandpa, http://letterstobreathe.com/2009/to-the-deceased/dear-grandma-and-grandpa/ http://letterstobreathe.com/2009/to-the-deceased/dear-grandma-and-grandpa/#comments Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:49:53 +0000 admin http://letterstobreathe.com/?p=123 Times are so hard now that you’re gone. I have no one to cry to who will listen and care. Everyday I think about you guys. I hate it so much that you were taken from me. I have no one. I have no one to look to for guidance, I have no one to tell me that its going to be ok. Why did you leave us so soon. You didn’t tell us goodbye you just left us. I know you cant come back. But if you can see this if you can feel my thoughts please remember me. Because I will never forget you.

]]> http://letterstobreathe.com/2009/to-the-deceased/dear-grandma-and-grandpa/feed/ 2 Dear Dad… http://letterstobreathe.com/2009/to-a-parent/dear-dad/ http://letterstobreathe.com/2009/to-a-parent/dear-dad/#comments Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:26:27 +0000 admin http://letterstobreathe.com/?p=68 I went to your grave for the first time this summer. I put my graduation picture on it. I had planned on keeping my shit together until I saw “loving father” written on it. Loving father? How were you ever even my father if you died when I was two? I wanted to beat the headstone into tiny pieces with my fists when i read that. I could have set the whole damn cemetery on fire. Loving fathers do not abandon their daughters or their wives.

Loving fathers do not hang themselves from basement rafters in the middle of the afternoon. I wonder if you’re in heaven. Do you know I’m writing this right now? Did you see the beautiful parts of my life?  Graduating from high school, or falling in love or turning eighteen? How about when my life spiraled out of control. Did you see that? Did you see me do all those drugs or blow off college or sleep with all those nice guys from the bar?

Sometimes, when I do these horrible things I get satisfaction thinking you can see me. And the ugly person that I can be. And then sometimes, I’ll find a picture of you when I’m cleaning, or someone will start talking about you, or I’ll see a man holding a small baby. And this immense sadness comes over me. It hurts my stomach because I missed out. I never got to have a dad. I was never protected and loved in that way. I am so jealous that I’ll never know how it feels. To have my father give me away at my wedding. Or hold me. Or tell me that he loves me.

You know, even if you had lived and been a shitty father at least you would have cared enough about me to actually remain on the fucking planet. You broke my mothers heart and a part of me hopes you are burning in hell for that. I feel worse for her than I do for me. She knew you and she loved you and you left her. I didn’t have to go through the pain of knowing your kindness and love and then losing it. I wish I did though. I wish I had got to meet you, even if it were just once so I would know what your voice sounded like. Most of all, I wish I had been given the chance to show you what a good daughter I could have been. Maybe with you around I could have been better. Maybe not. I guess we’ll never know right.

Love from,
Everything you missed out on.

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