Letters to Breathe » More

suckish life

Anon — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:48:23 +0000

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Ever since last Tuesday I’ve been feeling really depressed, it’s horrible really. I feel the whole world closing in on me, I feel my lungs begin to close up and the ground moves. I don’t know what to do, i really don’t and I want to feel better but I can’t. There’s no reason to why I’m like this, well, there are a few minor things that have happened to me recently but I dont think that they are it. I need someone to listen to me, and even though i have plenty of friends, I dont think i can tell anyone because i dont think they care much.
What can I do? I hate myself right now. Actually no, I pity myself.
My bother called me ‘idiot’ today, and my dad agreed and began to make fun of how out there I was. Sometimes I think that parents should really care about their children, not just make fun of them and ignore how they are feeling.
Another thing I realized this week was that love doesnt exist. Yeah, you heard me, it doesn’t exist.
I don’t know what else to write,
me

I should of known better

Anon — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:56:47 +0000

I should of known better when you told me you just got out of a relationship a few months back and just wanted to have a friend with the benefits. I knew deep down in me that I was not the type to partake in this kind of relationship, but I told myself to “suck it up” and really enjoy you. I enjoyed you very much and honestly I fell for you the first time I sat with you and chatted. I should of seen it coming; the idea of having a friend and the benefits to go with it was too good to be true. I was always told “you can’t have cake and eat it too”. It is true especially when you claim to be honest when you are really not. Shame on you. Honestly, you are a dog! I tried really hard not to like you but I think I was too good for you all along. If you would of taken the time to get to know me, you would of realized I was a good catch. I would of been great for you but all along you had was her in your mind. Shame on you for lying and not telling me or breaking this up before having your cake. YOU used me like I was a napkin. You weren’t looking for a relationship but she decided to take you back and you were too chicken to tell her no and try it with me. Well I am the one that will learn from this. I am a resilient strong woman and I deserve a guy who will want to be with me and not think about past lovers. Life is all about wading through the so many assholes that exist in this world. I will find someone who is worth my while. I do not deserve to be treated like a piece of shit. You showed your true colors AND showed me the pig you truly are.

No related posts.

tired.

Anon — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:56:35 +0000

Its so late, and I’ve been sitting here for hours, listening to John Mayer in attempts to cheer me up, but we both know thats not going to happen while waiting to hear back from you. I waited; and never got anything back. I’ve stuck around for longer than I should have, and now I think its time that you prove you want me, because that’s all I’ve ever done. I’ve been nothing been honest, and patient, and if it’s taken you this long, to do nothing, then why should I continue to stay. It’s destructive, to me. I can’t just sit around and take it anymore, while you’re happy because you know you’ll have me whenever you want me, but it’s not reciprocated. I don’t think you can even grasp and understand how frustrated I am to still be non-existent with you, while other couples have gotten together and broken up in the time we’ve been “talking.” I couldn’t tell you when you started getting to me, but you have, and you know it, and you love it. Meanwhile, I’m taking it, and hating it, but still coming back for more in hopes you’ll finally say you feel the same way. I’m sorry if I wasn’t for you. I’m sorry I let you hurt me.

Dear Husband…tired of it all…

Thanks

Anon — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 14:56:28 +0000

Dear life,
I am extremely grateful. I am dating a wonderful man who is so lovely that I could have made him up in my head; I am about to go travel and do things that most people only see on the discovery channel. My friends and family are prospering, getting married, having babies, buying houses. These friends and family care about me and welcome my return even though it is far too infrequent. My research plans are coming together almost of their own volition, my advisers are incredibly interactive and supportive. I have enough money, I am healthy.
What can I say? Do I thank life? myself? other people? I’m not waiting for the other shoe to fall, I am remembering to enjoy this! and remembering to breathe!

Annette

Anon — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 01:34:29 +0000

Your son misses you so much.
Since the day you left, he’s been different.
He feels lost..empty without you here.
He’s scared that you think he hated you.
I know you know he loved you.
I know you know he didn’t mean the things he’d said to you.
He knows he didn’t tell you he loves you enough.
I know you know how much he loves you.
I just want you to know, I’m looking out for him.
I just wanted to tell you how much he loves and misses you.
You are his sunshine. You always made things better for him.
You’re an amazing woman, and you raised an amazing son.
I know we didn’t get to talk much, but I’ll never forget the rugby game you took me to.
Thank you for raising such a great son. I’m kinda in love with him.
We all miss you so much.

To Everyone

Anon — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 21:34:05 +0000

I hate you for pretending that fat girls are ‘curvy’. Here i am, 20 pound overweight, trying to believe the shit you say to make fat girls feel good. Instead of always worrying about their self-esteem, why don’t you realize how good they will feel if and when they lose the goddamn weight. Its not about looks. its about health. instead of emphasizing that its all good and well to be “curvy”, why dont you emphasize that girls should be healthy. They may be overweight if they have muscle, but lets be honest, almost all fat girls aren’t fat because of muscle. They are fat because they overeat. I eat when I get criticized. I eat when im not hungry. I am a fat girl. But im trying. And i will never believe that ‘curvy’ shit. i looked at myself in the mirror once. A size 12 in jeans. I used to be a size 4, long.

No related posts.

Dear uneducated populous

Anon — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 03:25:08 +0000

Dear uneducated populous,

I have genital warts.

That does not mean that I have herpes.
They are two totally different viruses. Herpes is with you for life, hpv can go away with time, usually under 8 months. So even though I have hpv now, in under a year itll probably be gone.

My vagina is not a bumpy mess.
I have 3 tiny bumps you could hardly notice, that happen to be warts.

Im not a abnormality.
80% of people will have a strain of hpv in their lives!!!! so yes you probably have/had/will have hpv once in your life. Sorry mine has to be the kind that shows symptoms.

I am not a stupid.
Wearing condoms dont protect against hpv, even being “safe” didnt save me.

Im not a skank.
It doesnt matter how many people you sleep with, you can still get hpv

Im not an aweful person.
I dont no tell people I have hpv/warts and sleep with them

I dont have cancer.
There are over 100 strains of hpv, so no having genital warts means that I wont develop cervical cancer, because its a completely different strain.

Please get educated!!!!!!
Stop being so ignorant on the subject

To Jeff

Anon — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 01:20:44 +0000

Jeff,
we talk, we flirt, we get in trouble together. I dont see whats holding you back. Why wont you ask for my number, why wont you ask me out? You know i like you, why dont you like me? Why is it it aht everytime i end up liking someone, they hurt me? Please tell my why.

Genital Warts

Anon — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:20:17 +0000

Dear Genital Warts,

I found you on me one month ago. Not only am I in the 10% of people who get HPV after having the Gardasil shot, but I’m in that 4% that also developed warts from it. Lucky me. Ive been burned with chemicals, and used weird creams, and i know it may take up to 10 weeks for you to go away (if you even do then). And what if you dont, what if i have another break out? I don’t know what I’d do. You have made me hate my vagina; you have made me ashamed and disgusted.

I thank you for helping me with my sexual addiction, just from the sheer fear of passing you on, I was able to resist f**king strangers. This disease has been my salvation in some aspects.

But PLEASE go away soon. I’ve learned my lesson, I know that I need to be safe from now on and to be less sexually promiscuous.

I do not want you forever.

Because if you don’t go away, how will anyone ever love me again?

Struggles

Anon — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:20:21 +0000

Yesterday, I got hit by a car while i was walking across an intersection. I didn’t have my life flash before my eyes nor did I feel like death whisped me away. I blinked at the gravel paved road at at the silver grill that had hit me. I got up and walked away unharmed. Why? Why did God want to me to live another day longer? Why do I always have to mess things up and be tempted to do bad things?

I watched a movie this evening called ‘wrist cutters’. No I don’t want to kill myself in anyway shape or form, I want to live my life to the fullest. Just thinking how that car accident could have ended makes me wonder what else I need to fulfil in my life here on earth.

I’d say that I am an honest, virtuous living person. but the secret is, I have addictions and I feel alone. maybe because I don’t know any other woman that actually has the same addiction that I do and that its only an addiction for men. Thats right. Pornography. My friend back in adolescence introduced it to me, made me participate in research and curiosity. I enjoyed the feeling but never knew it was wrong till I was a teenager. I go to church, I pray, I read the scriptures, I served the needy and the hungry. Yet I am being enveloped in this nasty, crude addiction that has taken over my life for the past 7-8 years. I always want to stop on my own and go ‘cold turkey’ but somehow I feel that emptiness and I know I need to fill it with something thats right, not what this ‘xxx’ site offers me. It follows me where ever I walk. Its like a chain on my leg, pulling me down slowly. I always say ‘i can change I am change’. but here i am again back at square one. lugging around this stupid addiction.

I’ve only been loved once by a young man, and that young man used me and decided to never tell me why we never did talk again. I have lost hope in all relationships after that. sad but true. I still attempt to contact him anyways i can to fill that question that is so up in the air.

God, I know you have given me these struggles to make me stronger, but I think 7-8 years should end now. and by now I don’t want these addictions to continue in any sort which way.

I repent every time I commit this sin, its not natural if I keep doing this, creating a habit out of it. thats how addicts are born you idiot. I test and try different techniques. Writing out my feelings, eat soap to make an impression to never do that again. But i just keep doing it because I have admitted it to myself that I am an addict and even though I want to change…I can’t…at least not alone.

Everytime this happens a piece of me leaves. Floats somewhere where there is only good. The earth is so evil. To be in the world not of the world. Sometimes I feel like I need to endure this life.

I am a pornographic addict wanting to quit, but I can’t alone.

No related posts.

Letters to Breathe » More

suckish life

Related Posts

I should of known better

Related Posts

tired.

Related Posts

Thanks

Related Posts

Annette

Related Posts

To Everyone

Related Posts

Dear uneducated populous

Related Posts

To Jeff

Related Posts

Genital Warts

Related Posts

Struggles

Related Posts