Dear Babe…

I think about you all the time. Lately it has been worse because I feel that you are missing so much. My life is changing so fast and I wish you were still around to see, I wonder if you would be proud of me or disapointed… You always shocked me with your reactions to things.

Everything that you and I once had planned is happening with someone else. I am not going to lie, I love with very very much. But there are often times I wonder what it would have been like if you stayed.

I remember when you were getting on your plane to go home, you told me not to look back because it would hurt us more… As I walked away I couldnt help but turn around and wave one last time. And I thank God everyday that I did, because that was the last image I have of you and it is played on repeat in my mind forever.

I miss you so much. Words cannot discribe. I remember the way you used to wink at me when we made eye contact in a crowed room. It always made me feel like you were saying “They have no idea how in love we were.” and it was just you and me were in on the secret.

I’ve said I’m sorry too many times to count. I question how much I meant it back then since after it was said I would do that same things over and over again.. Yet you still loved me.

You had told me how many times you had been hurt by others. And I was determined to prove to you that not all girls are the same, and I did nothing but fail you. I’m truly sorry.

I wish I had your number, back when I used to have it I would block my number and call you; but stay on the phone long enough to just hear your voice say “hello?”
I know that you knew it was me, and each time I silently begged you to say my name instead.

I’ve deleted all of our pictures, thrown out all of our letters. The proof that you were here; that what we had was real, is slowing fading away.

I dont know if it makes it harder or easier.

I love you babe, miss you to pieces and wish the best for you<3

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