Dear Self,

Everything is your fault, and you know that. When you’re being smothering, too controlling, too emotional, you know he won’t say anything about it, but you know you’re doing it. Why don’t you just stop? You knowingly run all the good people out of your life, because you know deep down they’ll leave you anyway. For some reason even though you know it’s coming, you still get heart broken.

You two have made it nearly two months this time without a major fight. He’s amazingly sweet, handsome, and loving…you know you’re the reason he’s been pulling away. You’re trying to give him everything and ensure that he knows you love him, but you believe it’s making him pull away and keep doing it? If things don’t work out this time, just give up. Everyone negative in your life is right. No one could ever really love you anyway.

I wish you understood why you would knowingly destroy the only good thing in your life…

But I guess it is what it is.

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