My present past

This might be the only way I can completely speak about. I’m 20 years old. I’m 5’2″ and my current weight is 132 pounds (4 days ago it was 126). I might have a problem, an eating disorder. But all I know is that I’ve never been happier like 2 years ago. 2 years ago I was happy, extremely happy, I was like a sunflower. I loved myself. I could finally be the girl I always dreamed to be. I was 110 pounds, I lost the weight that made my life a nightmare (even though nobody never picked on me for it) but even when I went shopping with mom and friends I avoided mirrors.But when I lose the weight I felt like I was showing my true colors, I’ve never had so many friends because I opened up so much to people. But the reason of what I’m feeling now is that 1 and a half year ago I entered in an Art School 2 hours away from home. I’m doing pretty good. But I get home very late and leave very early so I have little time for projects and I barely sleep, also I get always get nervous before a big project and tend to eat lots of snacks through the day, and that has been making me fat, since then I’ve been trying to lose some weight anyhow. I was bulimic, 2 months ago I encouraged myself to stop it successfully! I’ve been exercising but seems like I’m stuck in this weight. My mom does not understand how I feel, thinks somebody is picking on me, blames the TV and Internet. My mistake was not to show enough of how happy I was being thin. I’m stuck in this body, I barely go out with my friends, I have less than half of confidence I used to have. I feel desperate and don’t want to go back to my bulimic days although I feel tempted sometimes but I’m now strong enough to say no. I’m likely to be on my ideal weight by August but doing the right things.

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