Some things I’ll never really tell you
I think you may be starting to suspect that I kind of like you, which is good. I feel like summer is our season- last summer some things happened, this summer I want things to happen again. But if we ever are actually together at all, here’s a list of the secrets I plan to keep from you.
First and foremost- your best friend is my DREAM guy. I have never been more infatuated with someone in my life. I’ve known him for so long and have always, always, always been attracted to him. About a year ago I came to terms with the fact that he will never be interested in me in that way and I gave up all hopes for him. I think it’s obvious why I would never tell you that. I don’t want to come in between friends, and nothing has ever happened between the two of us. You’re someone I can actually SEE myself with.
Secondly, when you first burned me that CD last summer and I said I loved it… I lied. At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the whole ska/punk feel that you’re so into, and I actually kind of hated it because it sounds like the music my dad loves. I listened to it because I liked YOU. And because I liked you, I started to love the music. Ska used to remind me of my parents and now it makes me happy because I think of you. And this kind of segues into my third secret.
The first song that I related to on the CD that you burned me was about someone who tries to save a depressed girl from taking her life. You asked me if I thought she lived or died in the end and I said “I hope she lives.” In my head I imagine myself as the suicidal girl being saved, even though that dark part of my life is far over (and I don’t really want to show you that side of me at all). That song is actually my feel good song now, any time that I’m feeling low I just lay down and sing along to it.
The last of these is that I act low maintenance and chill, but I’m actually painfully insecure. I actually used to suffer from a mild eating disorder but was helped before I went too far. I always insist to people that that’s only a rumor started by spiteful people, but it’s true. I don’t think I’m ever going to have to tell you that, though. You’ve always made me feel pretty and secure. You’re a real gentleman. If I can make this work, I’m going to be the luckiest girl I know.
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One Response to “Some things I’ll never really tell you”
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Recently Submitted Anonymous Letters
First off, Props to you. you’re the first reasonable girl I’ve come across. You think with your head and not your heart, never have hope for something that is too good for you, and settle for less. They should really teach these things in school, luckily, we have you.
P.S. it’s a good thing you’ll never tell him this stuff, you kind of shot him down. Kudos to you for keepin it anonymous.