To All Those

My life has been full of ups and downs, and I thank everyone who has been there for me, but I have come to realize that no one will always be there for me except myself. I am sitting here writing this alone and kind of sad, thinking to myself “Will I ever meet that special someone?” or am I destined to live my life alone and miserable like it so seems I would. Everyone I know has that special someone, and I find myself dwelling over the past and trying to create a new path, but it’s harder than it seems. I try to pull myself away and push myself towards something that I think would be better, but in the end I end up where I started, alone and confused. I don’t know why I dwell on her though, it gets under my skin and it bothers me, but is that why I still look upon her presence as a sense of security? I try to move forward, but every time I push she always seems to pull me back even though I push with all my might. Am I just too weak? Weak for her or weak as a human being? I wish I could just get her out of that “Group” that I call my “Ex-es,” but I know that won’t happen. She tries to induce reactions out of me, but I don’t react, but rather keep it to myself. Is that what keeps her coming back? I don’t know, but while writing this I just realized that I should let her go and create something new, better, and hopefully more positive. She is my past will be here in my present but won’t be my future, is a way I can put it. Let’s see how things go with new people I meet. The world is full of people, maybe I can find that one girl that is, the “Infamous” one, or maybe I have? That’s what keeps me from moving on as well, the idea that I might have missed an opportunity, but not every opportunity is for the taking….is it?

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