To My Abuser
I’ve been free of you physically for 4 years now, mentally I will never be free of you. I will always have trust issues with everyone I meet because of you. I still cringe when a man yells at me or even raises his hand joking at me.
I’ve only had one panic attack this year. I know you would hate knowing this. You would hate the fact that the minute you were handcuffed for the last time, I was over you. Never once in the last four years have I regretted leaving you. The only two regrets I have is that I didn’t do it sooner, and that even with the abuse you still got to take away my son.
I’m writing this to you, calling you out for all you did. Finally voicing just an ounce of what you put me through. I wasn’t able to say everything in the courts, due to the system and my shame. Well its your shame now and I hope you have nightmares about it.
I hate the fact that even as the police reports were read in court, you still denied ever abusing me. I hate that even though I was in the hospital for you knocking me through a glass shower door, no one turned you in.
What about the time I was pregnant and you had me in a headlock on the couch, fighting to keep me from dialing 911? When the police showed up, you told them you were only trying to calm me down. Or the time you kicked in the garage door, nailing me with a 10 gallon bucket of drywall mud because I supposedly made you kick in the door?
There was the time you wet the bed, too drunk to use the bathroom. You woke up my son, and then beat me up because he was crying. Of course you blamed the bed wetting on something else too.
It was never your fault. Nothing ever was. You took everything away from me you could. My freedom, my self respect, my trust in humanity. I’m slowly but surely getting myself back together again. Someday I’ll be strong enough to fight back in the courts. I will get my son back, no matter how bad you fight.
I want you to remember something else as well. Karma is a bitch. Someday you’ll man up and pick a fight with someone bigger, badder, and meaner than you. When he puts you 6 feet under, I’ll be there to piss and dance on your grave.
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6 Responses to “To My Abuser”
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I feel you on this whole thing….I experienced something very similar a few years back, and while the b*****d still hasn’t gotten his come-uppance, hopefully someday soon he will. Hopefully they all will. When they do, I’ll be right there pissing and dancing with you.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Eve . Eve said: Amazing letter called "To My Abuser" was submitted to LTB – http://su.pr/1T3gqK (via @letters2breathe) [...]
Yes, Karma is a biatch. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Twitter: frostedfingers
says:
Stay strong and fight for your son!
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